Suicide in the Community
The Coalition for Children's Mental Health has often been contacted when a suicide occurs in the community that affects our children. The Coalition encourages parents to talk to their children openly and honestly when a suicide happens in the community.
Parents should first take the time to educate themselves about suicide and arm themselves with professional resources at the websites listed below. The resources there can help you determine what you will say and anticipate what questions your child may have.
The most important reason to talk to your child is to let your child know you care. Emphasize that while someone who takes his/her own life feels a sense of hopelessness that makes him/her think that suicide is his/her only choice, that it never is the only choice. Help is available.
Encourage your children to talk about and express their feelings. Provide a listening ear and be a support so they can visit with you about how they feel. After you speak with them, be on the look out for any future reactions. Children and youth do not respond as adults do and it often can take some time for them to react or feel the impact of such an event. Children, indeed, all of us, deal much better with tough circumstances when they have at least one person who believes in and supports them.
Also, be aware of depression and its symptoms in children and adolescents. Look out for:
- Frequent and unexplained headaches or stomachaches
- Significant weight gain or loss
- Feeling sad, hopeless, weepy or empty
- Unmerited feelings of being "bad" or "stupid"
- Changes in sleep patterns/problems with sleeping
- Unprovoked anger or aggression
- Refusal or reluctance to attend school, skipping school
- Dropping out of favorite activities
- Withdrawal, little interest in playing with others
- Running away
- Cutting, self-injury, threats of self-harm
- Sudden drop of grades or changes in behavior
- Acting out behavior in younger children and self-destructive behavior in older youth, including alcohol and drug use
- Difficulty with relationships
- Antisocial or delinquent behavior inattention to appearance or grooming
- Risk taking behaviors with little thought of consequences
- Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
- Slowed physical responses or increased physical agitation
- Social isolation
In addition, people sometimes have risk factors which are big indicators that suicidal thinking is going on. Be extra concerned if you know:
- The person has made a previous suicide attempt
- The person is talking about death or suicide
- The person is planning for suicide or making final plans much in the same way a terminally ill person would do.
- The person shows increased drug or alcohol use.
- The person is feeling trapped in their present life situation with no other way out.
- The person gives away prized possessions.
- The person write a will.
- The person arranges for the care of pets.
- The person acts recklessly
- Sometimes, a sign for suicide may be they are experiencing the above symptoms but then without any change in their life, are suddenly very happy and content. This may indicate that they have decided to commit suicide and feel a sense of peace at this decision.
- Some people who die of suicide never exhibit any of these signs.
If your child speaks of having thoughts of suicide, take it seriously and seek professional help. Akron Child Guidance & Family Solutions runs a 24-hour hotline at (330) 762-0591. Akron Children's Hospital runs the Psychiatric Intake Response Center (866-443-7472) to conduct preliminary risk assessments and answer your behavioral health questions over the phone from 7 AM Monday morning through 7 AM Saturday mornings throughout the week. Nationally, you or the child/youth can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433) 24 hours a day/7 days a week to talk with a trained professional.
Depression is a highly treatable disorder especially among children. Treatment advances in psychotherapies and psychiatric medications provided by qualified professionals can be highly effective with treatment success rates as high as 84% with a full course of treatment. Other things you can do are as follows:
- Listen to the problems the person is experiencing without being judgmental.
- Ask if they are having suicidal thoughts if you suspect that they are. A person can not talk someone into suicide by asking about suicidal thoughts. You are validating their feelings.
- Explore the possibilities of getting help. The suicidal person may be looking at life so narrowly, that they are no longer able to see alternatives and need someone else to point them out.
- Do not send the person to get help. Go with him or her. Do not leave the person alone.
- Remove any means of suicide, i.e. guns, knives, pills etc.
- Realize that emergency rooms treat suicidal persons and that 911 is a logical tool if you need assistance.
Here are websites for more information. In particular, SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) has a wonderful article on talking to children about suicide.
American Association of Suicidology
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Mental Health America - Adolescent Suicide Prevention Program
Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network
Suicide Prevention Education Alliance